Conflict of an INFJ Engineer

As an Engineer I am in conflict.

I am a Feeling Type person (INFJ) as well as a Thinking Type person (INTJ).

I have been typed as both with regular frequency, and which one shows up on a personality test, depends (I guess) on my mood or energy level at that time.

Engineers come in many shapes and sizes and even personality types. INTJs are common, occupation wise, in engineering though population wise they are rare to find and hear from (they are introverts!).

They do not seem to care much about global feelings and aren’t too concerned about people, ethics, environment or general wellbeing. They care about abstract systems and technocracy. Such are INTJs.

The concepts which are universal, emergent, true, harmonious and rich in compassion and integrity are those that are core to the values and belief systems of INFJs. People can be convinced, they say.

It is no wonder that when such a middle-of-the-spectrum or dual/mixed type person like me (i.e. INTJ + INFJ) decides to pursue (or decides to stick, for want of a better option) engineering, things get odd.

A rant follows, as seen below, which goes like this in my head, on a daily basis.

The engineering here is not the smooth product design or prototyping kind of engineering where individual creativity is expressed but project, infrastructure and construction-based engineering.

Which means the rough and tough nature of the work which usually always involves the use of machinery and labour for the extraction, exploitation, manipulation and destruction of natural resources and ecosystems, and brings with it lots of political and commercial negotiations, contractual clauses and government haggling.

And for what?

To satiate the never-ending desires of the consumer masses, and to give them a supposedly better quality of life (read as consumeristic and materialistic lifestyle).

Which goes against the values of an INFJ, and irks him to no end that the future is being lost to the decadence of the present, and how we are robbing the Planet and the People of any alternative Plan. Going to Mars is not an INFJ dream. Sure, it may be an INTJ one.

As they want to see their efforts going in the right direction, at the right value chain, and for a greater good. Basically, they crave for Utopia and desire perfection as a principle in men.

Contrast that to INTJs who desire (among other things like clarity and documentation) perfection in the process, and the understanding of the process to be shared among all.

I think this intention of sharing of knowledge and understanding of the means (and the end), which needs to be communicated to one and all, is what unites INTJ and INFJ.

And that is what keeps me moving.

Some effort of mine will surely undermine the goal of a dreamer and universalist, but in the long run it will empower other people, and take their minds off of petty utility and daily needs issues e.g. no power, impure water, slow transport, slow Internet, lot of pollution etc. and towards global needs.

It is indeed a qualitative visionary and dreamer (INFJ) who can give a direction or a goal to which a quantitative strategist or an architect (INTJ) can work upon, and lay the framework and processes. For the rest of the Types to work and follow on.

It is difficult to be both at once, and that is why I am in conflict. I choose both English and Maths.